My Therapist -我的心理醫師

I have a psychological therapy appointment tomorrow (9/17). I started seeing a therapist right after the rape. Although it helped somewhat, I stopped going after six month. My first therapist was really cold and distant. He would sit and listen to my rape in an emotional detached way, despite the violent and very emotional nature of the rape. I would cry and cry and he never offered any comforting words. He always talked about my problems in a very matter-of-fact and emotionless way, as if my problem was merely a crossword puzzle to him. I understand that therapists need to analyze a patient problem in a cool and calm manner, but he was too emotionless and cold. I never felt comfortable with him.

I haven't gone to any therapy until early last year when Betsy recommend her therapist to me. Let's called her Dr. Anna Freud :) Dr. Anna Freud is a wonderful person. Warm, welcoming, sympathetic, care deeply about her patients. When she talked to me, I felt warm and fuzzy and comforted. I have been seeing her for about an year and a half now. I trust her completely and tell her everything, including this blog. I don't even tell Betsy and my other close friends about this blog, although I did tell Betsy and my close friends everything. Dr. Anna encourages me to write down my life and my feelings. I love Dr. Anna. She is wonderful. Which makes my job security even more important to me. Without my job and the health insurance that come with it, I can't afford to see Dr. Anna anymore.

我明天(9/17)有心理治療的預約。我在被強暴之後開始看心理醫師。雖然有點幫助﹐我在六個月之後就自己停止去看醫師。我的第一個心理醫師是很冷淡帶著距離感的人。他都坐著以一種不帶感情的方式聽我描述被強暴的過程﹐即使這過程很暴力﹐非常感情強烈。我不斷的哭﹐可是他從不會安慰我。他總是以一種不帶感情﹐就事論事的口吻來描述我的問題。仿彿我的問題對他而已單純只是個填字遊戲的字謎。我了解心理治療師需要以冷靜﹑平靜的態度來分析病人的問題﹐可是他太冷酷無感情。我從來就不覺得跟他可以推心置腹。
我一直到去年上半年才又去心理治療﹐是Betsy推薦她的心理醫師給我。暫且稱呼她Dr. Anna。Dr. Anna是個非常棒的人。讓人感到溫暖﹐具有同情心﹐深深的在乎她的病人。當她和我討論問題時﹐我覺得溫暖舒服。我已經去她那裡一年半了。我完全相信她﹐告訴她我全部的事﹐包括這個部落格。我甚至沒有告訴Betsy和其他好友這個部落格﹐雖然我告訴她們全部的事。Dr. Anna鼓勵我寫下我的生活和我的感覺。我愛死了Dr. Anna。她真好。這讓我的工作前途對我更重要。如果沒了工作﹐以及工作提供的健保﹐我將無法負擔看Dr. Anna的費用。