Brings back bad memory of my rape: KNX - Balwin Park PD Search for Men Who Allegedly Gang Raped Girl

KNX - Balwin Park PD Search for Men Who Allegedly Gang Raped Girl

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This news brings back memory in college. Like the girl in this story, I was kidnapped and raped in my college by two black men. It was the sophomore year. I was walking back to my apartment alone after a night class. Looking back, it was stupid of me to walk home alone at night. But there were not a lot of crime on campus while I was there. I never had thought that I would be attacked.

Anyway, while I was walking home alone, a mini van pulled alongside of me suddenly. One man jumped out, grab me from behind, and push me into the van. The van then drove off. It happened so fast that I didn't even know what's going on. By the time I realized I was kidnapped it was too late. I looked around in terror, only met with a black man's face. His face strangely absent of emotion. Just stared at me blankly. Then, all of sudden, his face animated with a weird smirk. I screamed. Then, he started to molested me. His hands touched all over my body. I screamed on top of my lungs. I never knew I could screamed so loud. He slapped me. He slapped me so hard that immediately sent me into stupor. I heard the driver kept saying "Shut up, bitch!" The kidnapper then resume to molest me. His hands started undress me. I didn't scream but kept struggling, try to kept him away. He grabbed me, slapped me hard again, and torn my clothes open. I started to cried. He slapped me again, and then unhooked my bra, exposed my breasts. I immediately raised both my arms, tried to covered my breast. He then process to lift my dress, exposed my underwear. I kept struggling. I must struggled hard for he got angry and punch my face. Blood immediately shoot out of my nose. He didn't care but process to lower my underwear, exposed my body. One of his hand then violently insert into my body. I screamed and cried out in pain. He kept molested me, rubbed his hands all over and inside my body. Then, he stopped. He just stopped. I was still crying with tears and blood streamed from my face, but peeping to see what's going on. He took off his pants and underwear. Exposed his erected penis. I inhaled loudly. Fearful what comes next. He then said to me in a slow and low voice "if you give me a good blow job and satisfy me. I might let you go." I froze and didn't know what to think and what do. All I could hear was the driver's laughter. Then the kidnapper laughed too and said "oh, you won't give me blow job? I guess you want me to fuck you?" and slowing move towards me. I was terrified and dreadful and said in such in an almost whisper voice: "Wait." He laughed. Dreadful and embarrassed, I lean forward and started licking his penis. The driver started to laugh in a weird way. The kidnapper then asked me "Are you a virgin?" I looked up and answered "no." He then said "then why you suck dick so badly? I guess you want me to fuck you good and hard then" The driver laughed even louder. I started crying, then bent down and gave him a blow job. I conjured up whatever small amount of adult movies that I saw and desperately tried to mimicked the porn actresses. I felt nauseated and wanted to throw up while his penis was inside my mouth. But I performed oral sex as if my life depend on it. Actually, at that time I really believed my life was depend on it. Now it is fairly obvious that he just said that to get me to perform oral sex on him, and I knew it at that time. But for that 1% chance that he might actually left me go, I desperately try to satisfy him.

The kidnapper has a satisfying (don't know, just a guess) groan while I was doing it and was otherwise very quiet. Took this as a good indication, I kept going. Then the kidnapper suddenly had a low and deep groan. I knew what was going to happen. I was try to get away but his hand pushed my head down and moved my head up and down, then ejaculated into my mouth. He told me to swallow while he ejaculated. Fearfully, I complied and swallowed his cum. It was so bad with an offensive smell and taste that I wanted to threw out, but didn't. Finally, he let go of my head.

I was half relief. Hopping he would honor his words. Then I realize the van had stopped. The driver get off the front seat and I can heard him came to the door. I was desperately hoping they would left me go. The driver flung open the door with his penis exposed and erected. I screamed out loud, realized that they fully intent on raping me. This time, the kidnapper didn't slapped me or try to silent me. He and the driver started to undress me amidst my struggle. I was naked. I cried and pleaded and plead, but them ignored me. The driver then proceed to raped me. I felt him thrust inside me. It was enormously painful, as if a hot burning steel stabbing me. I cried out in pain, both physically and mentally. I kept screaming and crying but they ignored me and the driver kept raping me for a while. He ejaculated inside me. Just as I though the nightmare was over. The kidnapper forced me to turned over, and anal-raped me. It was way more painful then anything I ever felt. I screamed so loud and struggling, but he held me down and kept raping me. I felt liquid leaking out of me and smelled iron. I must be bleeding, but he didn't care and kept going. After the kidnapper finished. I was crying and plead to let me go. They ignored me and each took turn, continued to raped me and they forced me to changed into different position to satisfy them. They kept going for a long time. It felt like eternity. Toward the end of the rape I was so exhausted both physically and mentally I didn't even struggled nor screamed. Just blindly and mindlessly follow their orders. They ejaculated inside me and all over me. Finally satisfied, the kidnapper threw a cloth at me and told me to clean up. I wiped the cum off my face and body. The kidnapper then told me to get dress and would let me go. The words were so relieving I starred crying. Finally they drove the van back to where they kidnapped me, threw me to the curb, and then drove off. I was all alone on the sidewalk.

When I went back to my apartment, I immediately went to shower, try to wash away all their scents. An enormous sense of shame and pain rushed up my mind, I burst into tear while I was in the shower. Then I stayed there for two days straight. While in my apartment, all the emotions swirled in my head: shame, pain, anger, despair, depression, and sadness. I thought the nightmare was over, but the other nightmare was just beginning.

After the rape, I felt something slowing leaking away mentally. It's difficult to explain. I felt like an hourglass with sand pouring out of me. I think people never fully understood the effects of the rape on me. There was something fundamentally female about being rape. I felt like I lost something slowly. That was almost twenty years ago. It was so long yet I still remember my attack vividly. Strangely, the strongest, most vivid memory was the smell. The smell of cum and sweat and blood and feces and car exhaust and the rapists' bad breath and some sort of rubbery smell all mixed together. I almost can smell that weird, stinky scent now. The news of a girl being kidnapped and raped brought back my own memory and prompt me to wrote those long blogs. I don't know why I was motivated to write down my experience. But the act of writing is very therapeutic. I cried, and cried while writing. Now I feel a lot better. Perhaps I will keep writing my life experience as a way of therapy.